T minus 7 days

It's beginning to hit me that I am leaving next week! One reason: I am getting more emotional. I am starting to have all these thoughts, fears, and worries without consciously thinking about them. -_-; One time, I just pictured myself having a panic attack/breakdown/meltdown on the plane to the point where I would have to stop the plane and be featured on the 12PM news. HAHAHA. Let's pray and hope that doesn't happen. I'm sure it won't. I already have a few plans planned out: A) open up the Bible B) pray C) don't sleep the night before and knock out. It's only natural to have some scenarios in mind, I'm sure, but I am praying for more peace- peace that transcends all (human) understanding. Please pray for me (& also for a safe flight).

Even though I am kinda scared/nervous about being alone, I am so excited at the same time! It's a time to meet new people, get out of my comfort zone, really stretch my faith, and wrestle with God. A couple nights ago, I was praying before going to sleep and I just starting crying because I realized that all I would have is God. Even though I wasn't even in a place where I was lonely and depressed, I got teary thinking about it. I remember thinking, "God is really going to be my everything." I can honestly say that I don't think I was ever in a situation where God was my everything. It's kind of a crazy thought if you really think about it... I've always had my friends and family around, but now I would be on my own- just God and me. WHOA.

Speaking of people, someone told me some wise words: DON'T DEPEND ON PEOPLE. As much as I want to believe that my friends and family will be there for me whenever I need them, the truth of the matter is that they won't. We all have lives- lives that will continue even after I go to Japan. :*( But that's okay. I'm like 100% extravert so I know it might be a little hard, but I think that God is trying to teach me to depend on Him and not people. I have a feeling that He's going to make everyone not talk to me at the same time so I will have no one to talk to. -_- I hope it doesn't have to come down to that, but I'm sure He will get His point across sooner or later. People may fail but God is always there.

At NEXT on Friday, we sang Chris Tomlin's God of this City. As I was singing, I thought of Tokyo and the streets packed with so many people. Japanese people's faces came into my mind and I was just overcome with emotion. God of Tokyo. God is the King of the Japanese. God is the Lord of Japan. The lyrics just hit me like a ton of bricks and I felt the weight of God's love and heart for them. I was so desperate for God to save Japan. I felt like the lyrics were my prayer to God to do His work through me. If God can change a city like Nineveh, He can change a city like Tokyo. I believe it!

AHHHHHH!!! I still can't believe. I have so much packing to do. I tend to overpack because I convince myself that I'm really going to need it. HAHA. Can't let it happen this time.

God of this City

Chris Tomlin

You're the God of this City
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You are

You're the Light in this darkness
You're the Hope to the hopeless
You're the Peace to the restless
You are

There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City

There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here