Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Patience is Bitter but Its Fruit is Sweet

"Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD."
Psalm 27: 14

September 30, 2009 was supposed to be the date that I left for Japan. I think about what I would be doing right now if all had been going according to [my] plan. I would probably be frantically packing... and according to Eric, crying. I'm sure he's not far off- I am a pretty emotional person and goodbyes tend to be hard for me. -_- However, instead of going crazy, I feel at peace typing up this entry. It's bittersweet. Today, I inputted my latest support and I'm like 65% there! Praise God! Considering I have only been raising support for a little less than a month, I am so amazed at how much God has provided for me thus far. He truly is making it all happen and I don't think any of this would've been possible without His hand in every matter. He's really opening doors and giving me the opportunity to trust in Him with EVERYTHING.

To be quite honest, a part of me truly does wish that I would be leaving tomorrow, but another part of me is glad that I still have more time to prepare myself spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. I just keep thinking, "Was it unwise for me to even have a target date? Maybe I should have just given a rough time frame to people..." However, the more I think about it, I realized that it was good that I had a target date to work towards. It just goes to show that no matter what date I set or did not set, it is ultimately all in His hands. He has the final say and not me.

There was a point last week where I was feeling really discouraged. I was trying to be so hopeful and positive about the entire situation but I felt that there were so many hurdles to overcome (finances, visa, housing, etc.). I got frustrated and started to question if God was really calling me to go. I then had to remind myself the reason God called me in the first place. I re-read my testimony and support letter and I was so convinced that these obstacles were not a sign from God that I was no longer called but rather an opportunity to pray harder and trust in Him more. I started thinking, if everything went according to plan and things went smoothly, yeah I would've been happy and I would be on a plane headed for Narita, Japan tomorrow BUT would I have given all glory to God? I realized that sometimes, God makes things not work out according to OUR plans so that He can receive the glory when the situation does work out according to HIS plans. I was so humbled and broken. It is only because this situation is happening that I am able to seek God's guidance, wisdom, and power and see that it is only because of Him that anything is even happening! I truly believe that God is preparing me for something greater. He is trying to show me NOW what He can do so that later, whether it be while I'm in Japan or even a few years down the road, I will have faith that He will pull through- no matter how hopeless the situation may seem.

God never shows us the BIG miracles. He's not going to have an anonymous person send me a $17,000 check. He's surely not going to have me win the lottery. However, He always does show us the small miracles. He reminds me what it is like to have child-like faith through my nine year-old niece who wanted to give me $20 so that "I can survive in Japan." (Bless her heart). He leads people to partner with me by fasting shopping until January 2010, giving work study money, or simply offering whatever they earn or get as allowance. He uses people to encourage me with words (letters/cards/emails/messages) and prayer. This is how faithful He is: He gives us the small miracles and we take a leap of faith knowing that God is in control.

I don't have a new target date. I may go next week or at the end of October. Although I would like to go ASAP, I have learned the hard way that the only date that works is the one God sets. So until then, I am going to be patient and faithful in preparing myself spiritually. God has a purpose for all of this and I know that it will all be revealed in due time. Even as I write, I am starting to get a glimpse of why He is keeping me here just a little longer...

God is never late. He is seldom early. He is always right on time.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

<--- Anne, my niece (she wants to be pen pals... how precious)

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

eCollege Testimony 09.20.09

Dear God, we are so humbled by your goodness and love for us. Thank you for being a God who remains faithful even when we are faithless. Lord, I’m so grateful that You have called me and have opened the doors for me to go to Japan and share Your truth to that nation. As I share the burden you’ve put in my heart for the Japanese people, I pray that you would open the hearts, eyes, and ears of your people here today to see the love you have for your children in Japan. Stir the hearts of each and every one of my brothers and sisters here tonight to see that You will bring revival to Japan. I have faith that You will raise up intercessors and supporters from this group who will partner with me during my one year mission trip. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to obey and serve You. We believe You work all things together for our own good. I lift this time up to You and may You receive all the praise, glory, and honor. We love You and in Jesus name we pray, AMEN.

Konnichiwa! For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Iris, I’m 22, and I just graduated from UCLA as a Political Science & Asian American Studies major. GO BRUINS! And yes, if you were at our broomballing fellowship, I was the one yelling and screaming, “ATTACK!” J E-college is my family. All of you right here are my family and I’ve grown so close to most of you and have matured so much in the four short years I was here. I really want to encourage everyone to get involved because I found my true brothers and sisters in Christ right here in this room. I don’t think I would be where I am today without each and every one of you.

Okay so the main reason I’m up here today is not to give you a farewell speech but it’s to share what God’s been doing in my life and how I came to obey God and commit one year of my life to doing missions in Japan.

In the summer of 2006, I went to Japan for the first time with STEM. For some reason, I really felt that God was leading me to go that particular year and so I obeyed. As we trained, I was praying for a heart that would truly love the Japanese people. Seeing the history of Korea-Japan relations, I think I subconsciously harbored some hatred toward them because of what I was told growing up, and I didn’t want that to affect my ministry. However, as soon as I stepped foot onto Japan, my heart just opened up to the Japanese people. God really gave me a burden to see the love He had for them and I truly believe that He gave me the ability to reach out to them without any inhibitions. At the first church we went to, there was a guy name Sano and he had been going to church for about a year but didn’t have the courage to let his friends know because he didn’t want to be judged by them. In America, people have no problem saying they are Christian; but their lifestyle may not always reflect it. However, in Japan, because they are such black and white people, the hardest part is to declare one is Christian because once it is said, one’s life will truly reflect Christ. In the week and a half we were there, he was able to boldly share his testimony with his friends and they came out to church. Although none of his friends accepted Christ, I believe that the seed was planted and I hope to go back and meet up with them again. They are actually part of the reason I’m going back. I believe that if revival is going to come in Japan, it will be with the college students and I want to do whatever I can to establish relationships and show people the love of Christ. In a nation with less than 0.25% of Christians, it became a reality that I may be the only Christian some people ever encounter.

At the last church we went to that summer, God completely broke me. The pastor there was an older man who had been through a lot of trials and obstacles. However, he did not let that get the best of him and He continued to serve God with everything he had. There was this one day I remember so vividly where he got on his knees and gave the most formal bow with his forehead touching the ground. I was so confused as to what he was doing. Then our translator said that he was apologizing to us for what his ancestors did to our ancestors many years ago. At this, I broke down and the tears kept flowing. God knew that even though I thought I loved the Japanese people without inhibitions, there was still something blocking me from loving them whole-heartedly. God exposed even the deepest feelings and He was preparing me for something greater. That summer, I signed a commitment saying that I would go back for a year after I graduated.

I got back to America and I remember being so on fire for missions and Japan and I told everyone that I wanted to go back. However, as I became more comfortable and complacent living my life in America, I wanted to forget about my commitment. Soon I was telling people that it just wasn’t in my plans to go back because I had to find a job and work. In the back of my mind, however, I always knew that God would hold me to my promise. Senior year came and God started to remind me of my commitment. I kept trying to ignore God and put my plans first. It wasn’t until this past July that God broke me completely and confirmed my calling to go. It was the third night of GLDI and the speaker was preaching on obedience. I never thought that going to Japan was obeying God- it was more of a sacrifice. However, the speaker told us to make our minds and hearts a blank slate and ask God to write what His will for us was. At that very moment, I heard God speaking to me, “Go to Japan. My child, do not fear for I am with you.” I couldn’t help but to say yes to God. Then it hit me that I was trying to avoid my commitment because I was scared- scared of leaving my family, scared of having no friends, scared of not being able to have the spiritual community like I did at church, scared of being alone, scared of not being in control of my life, scared of leaving my comfort zone, and scared of how much God could really do with someone like me. However all these fears that consumed me, God completely took away. With just one simple desire to obey God, He gave me boldness and confidence to put my trust in Him and Him alone.

There were times I asked God what I could do for my ministry in Japan. I have no expertise on any subject, sport, musical instrument and I became so discouraged thinking I have nothing to offer God or the Japanese people. I questioned how I would be used. I then realized that I only become discouraged when the situation I face seems bigger than the God I serve. I had to ask myself, “Iris, how big is your God?” God reminded me of His greatness found in Psalm 46:10

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."

Then I heard Him say to me, “Iris, I am going to do the work. It’s already been done. I don’t need your expertise, I am simply satisfied with your availability and obedience.” I don’t worry about my ministry anymore… God will lead and direct me to where there is a need. God does not want my best, He wants my ALL. Although I am planning to teach English on the weekdays, do campus evangelism with JCCC, and help edify the local Japanese church, I am open and flexible to wherever God calls me. He isn’t interested in what I can do for Him. He is interested in what I will allow Him to do through me. I find so much hope and promise in that and if He has called me and has made it possible for me to be in Japan, He will be with me until my work there is done. He will not abandon me in the middle for our God is a faithful God. He orchestrates everything in our lives for OUR own good. I am where I am because I chose to obey. I found that when you obey, you find so much peace in whatever God is asking of you because you know He will be the One in control. I am just an ordinary person with no exceptional talent or skill but in the hands of an extraordinary God, I too can be made extraordinary. I am only one person but I know that with God’s power in me, I will be able to attempt great things for God.

People are always so surprised to see that I’m going alone. Even though I am going by myself, I am not scared and I already know that I will be a majority in Japan. God plus one is always the majority and I know that if God is for me, there is no one who can be against me. I truly believe that God has taken away all fear and He has reminded me that there will be a cloud of witnesses, prayer warriors, and intercessors back in America praying for me. In my times of loneliness and discouragement, I know that it will be the prayers of all of you giving me hope and energy to press on and fight the good fight until the very end.

All throughout last year, I had the opportunity to support Tae and Karen monthly. Even though some months were hard, I was tremendously blessed by giving whatever I could and reading in their newsletter what I was contributing to. Even though it wasn’t much, I had faith that God was going to honor it, multiply it, and use it all for His kingdom work in Japan and China. I hope that all of you can prayerfully consider partnering with me for the entire year in expanding God’s kingdom through prayer and support. I believe that God has given me the opportunity to go and you the opportunity to send. We are all commanded to fulfill the Great Commission and even in these tough times, I pray that you will not let circumstances get in the way of investing in a cause that will outlast this life we life here on earth. I truly believe that our lives, time, and money belong to God and I ask that you will consider using the blessings you’ve received to bless others.

God is raising up His army. We have two choices: we can stand on the sidelines and watch others as they get ready for battle OR we can be the ones on the field equipping ourselves with the armor of God. I choose to be a part of God’s movement and I don’t just want to participate, I want to be at the forefront of that movement. Already, I see our brother in Thailand, Eric Choi, standing right beside me. I pray that when I look to the right and left of me, I will see all of you… my E-College brothers and sisters.

You are called until you are not called. You keep going and if God blocks your path, then you aren’t called… but until then, everyone is called. God will open doors of opportunity if it is His will for you to go.

Eric said fast a meal for him. I don’t want to be cliché so please fast shopping for me. I love shopping. The next time you go shopping, please think about Iris. You don’t need that extra top anyway…

Those who sow generously will also reap generously. [2 Corinthians 9:6]

Thank you for your time, prayers, and encouragement and I’ll miss you all dearly.

-------------------------------------------------------------

If you were blessed from this testimony and would like to partner with me in prayer and support, please ask me for a support letter. If you have received one and would like to contribute, please give the envelope to Susie Yoo (for those in eCollege) and Grace Park (for those in NEXT). Feel free to drop it off at the church's main office (Pastor Jeff Hyun's mailbox). Let's take the nation of Japan for God! :) Thank you and may God bless you more than what you have given.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Have faith!

September 30, 2009 is the target date. I'm wondering if "is" has be changed to "was." -_-

No matter what the outcome will be, I am going to have faith that everything is under God's control and He will take care of it! 

God's been opening all the doors for me. I don't think little setbacks should be considered as God shutting the door. If anything, I see it as a time for me to pray harder, trust in God even more, and have faith that He will do His work according to His perfect timing. I believe God is giving me this time to really show me that I need to give Him complete control. If these things do not happen, then there would be no need for me to give God all the praise, glory, and honor. It is only because certain obstacles are before me that I am able to recognize that God's hand is in each and every situation. So WHEN it works out, because I know it will, He deserves all the credit. It begins and ends with God.  

"Trusting God requires little steps at a time. You allow Him to lead, while you by faith take His hand trusting in Him, that no matter where the road leads and ends up, everything will turn out alright. Faith is another major key to having anything with a Holy God. Faith requires that you believe He is who He says He is, the Savior and Redeemer of the world, the God of eternal life. When you begin to believe in His existence and His awesome abilities, miracles begin to happen in your life." -Virginia Walton

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

Please continue praying for me: 
1) God will increase my faith in Him
2) God will raise up supporters who can commit to partnering with me for the year
3) I will not just say with my lips that I trust God, but I will trust Him whole-heartedly

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Matthew 6:33

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."